It went something like this:
"We lived in a cardboard box in the middle of the motorway."
"Real cardboard? That's luxury"
"We ate a mouthful of cold gravel every morning."

And on they went, becoming more and more absurd in turn. But these characters are not confined to the comedy archives, they are alive and well and working in an office near you.

Facilitating workshops on improving work life balance means I have the opportunity to visit a variety of work places. Whether big or small, public or private sector, service industries or manufacturing, I have noticed an increasingly common trait. No longer do people greet me with "Are you well?" but with "Are you busy?"

Listening to colleagues talking to one another I can hear those Yorkshiremen loud and clear as each one has worked later, longer and harder than the one before. In fact the workplace is no longer a place of business but of busyness.

But why does any of this matter? Because the messages we give out affect the way we feel, and eventually dictate the way we behave.

Repeating the message that you are at the end of your tether makes you feel worse. Your concentration becomes directed towards how busy you are. Instead of controlling your work your work begins to control you.

This leads to fire fighting (dealing with things only as they become an emergency), and adds to your workload through a lack of planning. This passive working is something I see again and again - and not surprisingly as around 88% of people surveyed say their workload is out of control at least some of the time.

What can you do about this? Refusing to take part in the busyness competition is a good place to start. Take a different approach to talking about your work. Why not talk about how interesting a project is rather than how demanding? Instead of the hours you work, talk about the hours you do not - the movie you've seen, the dinner you've had, or a walk with the dog.

Think, and speak in a calmer way and you'll feel calmer. When you feel calmer your decision making improves and you are more able to plan your work. You can look longer term and long term planning is the key to avoiding most crises in the first place.

Change like this does not happen overnight, nor does it happen by itself. You have to actively bring it about. Being an active worker rather than a passive one is fundamental in establishing a healthier work/life balance.

Of course changing the way you work, reducing long hours and removing stress, are about more than just the way you speak, but unless you make an active commitment to change, beginning with this relatively simple step, you will never tackle the bigger issues.

To become a truly active worker you need to:

Work out what is the top priority for your role and make sure such tasks are planned first.
Plan when each job will be done and set aside more than enough time in which to complete it.
Concentrate on one thing at a time - doing what you planned, when you planned it.
Keep your work area under control - removing clutter, putting everything where it belongs.
Keep everything in balance - work is only part of you life, it is not you - it is one thing you do.

Becoming an active worker also means ensuring you do not fall back into passive ways. Refuse to join the busyness competition and see the rewards for yourself. After all who wants to hire someone who is already too busy?