Do you find it hard to say “No” when asked to work late (yet again)? Do you feel pressured into taking on more work than you can handle? Is it hard for you to ask for help when you need it?

These situations, and many more like them, show why good assertiveness and negotiation skills are a vital part of maintaining a healthy work life balance.

Whether you bottle up your frustrations and then explode, or end up feeling like the office doormat, an inability to communicate openly and to find an agreeable compromise will be damaging your health.

This is why the Work Life Balance Centre is now offering the Taking Charge programme, which helps people maintain a life balance in the face of competing demands from family, colleagues or their manager.

The programme is a 2-day workshop and to find out more information on the next programme click here for more details.

The tutors are Amanda Edwards and Linsey Plant who both feel passionately about the importance of these skills in creating a balanced lifestyle.

Said Amanda: “One of the problems we hear about most frequently is that people feel sabotaged by the demands of others. They find it difficult to deal with these issues and stay in control of their feelings. They get very anxious about such situations and end up feeling put upon and taken for granted. They often feel resentful and angry – which is always bad news for your health.”

This is why the programme has been designed to tackle those situations people dread the most, as Linsey explained.

“People do not realise that there are techniques they can learn to make these situations more successful. We are not all born assertive or natural negotiators but we can learn these skills and improve our life balance as a result.”

The tutors have the following tips for those struggling with assertiveness or negotiation.

1. Don’t be pushed into making instant responses. You need time to think so make sure you take it.
2. If you know a particular situation is going to be difficult, prepare well. Think about what you are going to say.
3. Like all skills, these need to be practised so make sure you rehearse them and use them regularly.
4. Body language has a huge impact on how you are perceived. If you stand like a victim you’ll end up being one. Look strong - be strong.
5. Do not rise to the bait of personal remarks – stick to the issues. If someone’s behaviour crosses the line be prepared to end the encounter. Do not stay around to be abused.
6. Listen carefully and be aware that your own biases and options will give you a tendency to pre-judge. Try to remain open minded.
7. When using new techniques find a form of words that works for you – adapt them to your natural style.
8. Practice difficult situations with a neutral party beforehand.
9. Know what it is that you want to get out of the situation before you begin and then work towards that goal.
10. Believe you are worth it. If you are to negotiate successfully you must believe you are worth the outcome you want.

People’s beliefs about themselves, their rights and responsibilities are an important cornerstone of the programme. As such it builds about the foundations laid in the Centre’s programme on managing your workload called Getting the Balance Right, which looks at the psychological and practical aspects of work life balance. Taking Charge is therefore aimed at those are already familiar with the passive and active model and the roles of beliefs and filters in governing behaviour.

For more information on Taking Charge please click here or contact the Work Life Balance Centre on 01530 273056.

Amanda Edwards and Linsey Plant.