I have always been fascinated with aeroplanes and, even though I understand the theory of flight, each time I look up into the sky and see one, I’m amazed at how it stays there.

Musing about this one day, I thought about how we could use the principles of flight to help us to balance our lives. In the world of flight, four opposing factors create dynamic balance: Thrust, Drag, Lift and Weight. It is the same with our lives. In order for us to move forward, fly and become what we are capable of becoming, we need to have dynamic balance just like an aircraft.

Thrust comes from the engines, driving the aircraft forward. Drag acts in the opposite direction, pulling it back. Thrust has to overcome drag in order for the aircraft to move forward. Lift pushes the aircraft up into the air whilst its weight is pulling it down. Lift has to overcome weight for the aircraft to leave the ground.

The Journey so far

“What makes life dreary is the want of a motive.” George Eliot

When you’re on the journey of your lifetime, you need to balance those competing forces. What’s motivating you, giving you your thrust to move forward? What are you trying to achieve? Before you get into any vehicle, not just an aircraft, you already know where you want to go. Where do you want to go on this journey? What do you want to do with the time of your life?

Are you where you want to be? Doing what you want to be doing? Spending time with the people you want to be with? Feeling fulfilled? Motivated? Are you happy that you are using your talents and potential to the full? How is the future looking? What kind of things are you doing now to affect your future journey in a positive way?

There is no point in having energy and feeling motivated, if you don’t have focus. Lack of focus makes you frustrated, angry, even depressed. You need to have a purpose which will create motives to guide you.

Our purpose and motivation create our thrust - the reason why we do what we do and, just like thrust, our purpose creates our movement forward towards our objective. Expectations lead to attitudes; attitudes to behaviour and behaviour leads to consequences and results.

Drag - what’s slowing you down?

As soon as you start to move forward you will encounter drag – friction – things that will try to slow you down. The more streamlined you are, the faster you will go. Drag is an in-built resistance.

One of the main sources of drag is limiting statements or beliefs that we’ve picked up along the journey of our lifetime. Do you have any limiting beliefs that might be keeping you from moving forward?

Recognise that limiting beliefs are only beliefs, not necessarily the truth. For instance, I had a belief that “I can’t draw”. All my life, I thought that was the truth. That belief came from relations and teachers comparing my drawings to those of children who were far better at drawing than I was. My drawings never ‘measured up’ to those other drawings and I was always told “Well, it’s OK but it’s not as good as Mary’s or John’s.” As a result, at about the age of 5, I KNEW I couldn’t draw. All the evidence pointed to that being a ‘fact’.

Some years ago, two friends of mine decided that they wanted to take a Watercolours Course. They asked if I’d like to join them. I said “No thank you – I can’t draw.” They persuaded me to go to one class with them and promised that, if I hated it, they wouldn’t ask me to go again. We went to the class and had a marvellous time. On that very first night, we came away with a good picture each. It wasn’t something to hang in an Art Gallery, but we were all very proud of our results.

I kept going to the classes and the teacher was marvellous. Instead of comparing my drawings and paintings to the best, she’d tell me what was good about what I’d done and tell me how to improve on it the next time. I realised that I COULD draw and paint.

What limiting beliefs might you have? Sometimes, they’re completely subconscious and we don’t even know we have them. Here are some typical limiting beliefs that hold people back.

“Things like that aren’t meant for people like us.”
“ Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to.”
“ I’m no good at languages.”
“ They might think I’m stupid.”
“ I’m too old…………too young………..too fat………….to thin.”
“ I’m not what they’d be looking for.”
“ Someone like me could never go to University.”

Sometimes drag is self-induced. For some reason, we hold ourselves back. Some people are afraid of failure and others success. Maybe you feel other people are holding you back. Or maybe the drag is coming from your environment. It could be where you live, your working space, your partner, family, the economy. Any number of things. Look at what you can do to disperse some of that drag. Jana Stanfield (motivational speaker and singer) says that “Sometimes our fear needs to be bigger than our pain to make us move!”

Lift – where are you getting your support?

Lift helps to keep us motivated, moving forward. We get lift from the support and encouragement we give to ourselves and that we get from friends, family, colleagues and coaches. Very few people achieve success totally on their own. They need the support of others to lift them.

The people we spend time with affect everything we think and do. The positive or negative impact people can have has been demonstrated in many experiments. For instance, before carrying out a defined task, some people were read a list of the names of people who had had a positive impact on their lives. The same procedure was then followed using a list of those who had had a negative impact on them. Their performance in each task was measurably better after the positive list was read to them. If just having a person’s name read to you can create that kind of response, just think what spending time with someone who is positive or negative will do to you !

We need to ask more often, for more information, help and support from more people. The saying is “Ask and you shall receive” not “whine and moan and you shall receive.” If the answer is “No”, then you’re no worse off than when you started! Ask someone else. Keep asking until you receive.

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Weight – what might be weighing you down?

Are you carrying any negative emotional baggage? We all have some. It’s part of the human condition. You just need to make sure it’s not so heavy that it will stop you ever getting off the ground!

Some of the weight we’re carrying may come from past experiences - emotional baggage that needs to be let go, is not longer applicable and keeping you from taking off. Some of this will be easy to deal with. You may need help if it’s having a serious effect on your life.

What could you re-frame or look at in a different way to help you to move forward? What do you need to do to deal with any problems or issues that are getting in your way?

If you’re carrying too much weight, you’ll never get off the ground.

Small things can make a huge difference. What one small thing could you do today that would eliminate some of that weight or drag? Think about this every day. Remember, it’s not always about doing more. It could be that you give something up or let something go. You might want to stop something you don’t want to be doing or that you’re doing because someone else wants you to. Something that’s taking up valuable time that you could be spending filling in the gaps between where you are now and where you want to be. Time that you could spend studying, reading, taking exercise, planning your future or spending time alone re-balancing.

It’s easier to find 100 ways of improving your life by 1% in lots of areas, than it is to improve 1 area by 100%!

When you’ve done your weight and balance check, dumped your negative emotional baggage and let go of what’s keeping you down, you can begin to activate your flight plan and take off. Up to now, you’ve only been planning the trip. Now it’s time to take action.

Everything you say and do, every day, matters

You are the only person who can control the thoughts in your head. What are you thinking about? Where you want to go? Who you want to be with? What kind of life you want to have? The difference you’re going to make on your journey?

Your challenge is to make a difference, to add value and make your mark at something. I can guarantee you, when you’re following your passion, you’ll be full of energy, enthusiasm and motivation and it’s never, ever too late. When you’re using your gifts and your talents to the full, you will feel truly alive.

People fail because they have erratic aims, uncertain destinations, no life balance and fluctuating courage. Do what you can. Try what you can. See what you can accomplish. You won’t be here for long!

Marie Mosely

This article is based on an audio CD created by Marie Mosely entitled “Uplift”.
For further information, contact Marie on marie@mariemosely.com © 2004 Marie Mosely. Copyright in this document is vested in Marie Mosely. It may not be copied in whole or in part without the prior, written consent of Marie Mosely.